cradle robber
by Vault-Pizza
Summary: Sazh and Vanille get into an argument about who actually is the cradle robber. Kink meme fill, Sazh/Vanille I should stop writing these.


_This is yet another kink meme fill! Don't really remember how old this prompt was but eh..._

_Anyway anon if you ever find this, I'm sorry if you wanted them to accuse one another rather then what I did, I tried but it didn't work out. Figured this is better then nothing so well._

_Hope you enjoy_

Vanille pouted her mouth, drumming her fingers to her chin thoughtfully as she looked up in the sky. Kicking her legs restlessly. The strong winds of Grand Pulse that played with her hair and accessories usually had her running around skipping and giggling. But not this time.

"Hmmm..."

She pondered before crossing her arms and turning her head down.

"What is it?" Sazh vocie cut trough her thoughts. "Thinking about something?"

Vanille turned her head to look at him. Sazh rose his eyebrows and smiled, shrugging his shoulders in a questioning manner. "Sometin' on your mind lady?"

"Well!" Vanille said and suddenly stood, brushing off her furry skirt. "I was thinking"

"Yes?"

"We keep calling you old man, but how old are you actually?" Bringing her hand to drum on her lower lip she squinted her eyes a bit as she asked. Sazh thought it to be a bit of a strange question. Or it was more the _way _that she asked that was strange. Scratching the back of his head he looked to the right a bit uneasy, feeling as if he could give her a bad answer.

"Uhmm... I'm forty"

She just kept looking at him. Sazh out his hands in his lap and waited for her to speak. But she didn't.

"And? Why do you ask?"

"That means you're twenty one years older than me!" Pointing at him. "Pops! Aren't you a bit old to go and hold young girls hands like that!"

Despite his dark skin Sazh cheeks somehow reddened in embarrassment. Sitting up straight he held his hands up in defense. "What!? I haven't done anything!" Shacking his head. "I- Vanille! You're the one wh-"

Vanille burst into a laugh. Hands on her hips she smirked. "Oh I was just kidding _old man_! That's what I've been thinking about you see!" Skipping over to where he sat Vanille let herself fall down on her knees next to him. "I'm actually five hundred and nineteen years old! So I'm older than you

right?" Smiling from ear to ear as she said it. "So it's perfectly _fine_"

Sazh still sat with his arms and hands frozen in a defensive position. Studying her as she spoke he was quiet for a moment. There she goes again, trying to defend this relationship. Sazh had felt so Etro darn bad about. Never letting it go beyond holding her hand or giving her a hug. "Well _technically_" Letting his arms rest. "But that's more your chronological age rather than your mental age isn't it?" Nodding for himself he looked rather serious. "I mean, you have been... Like _frozen _as a teenager for five hundred years"

Vanille started at him, rubbing her forehead. "But you are _sort of _awake in crystal slumber."

"You are?"

"You are kind of aware" Vanille looked away with an innocent roll of her eyes. Sazh pouted, not completely convinced. For some reason it sounded creepy when she said it. "Well I'm mentally older than you are, that counts for something"

Putting her hands on her hips. "Right I'm just a silly kid right?"

Putting his hands up in defense once more. "Now listen Vanille, that's not what I said"

She pouted and crossed her arms, turning her head away with a "hnph"

Sazh sighned. "Listen Vanille, I just..." Gesturing awkwardly with his hands as he tried to think of a way to say it. "It's not that you are a kid, it's just that... Well I feel like...You, well I have a kid and well..." Groaning in annoyance Sazh pulled the corner of his mouth. "I feel like a cradle robber alright? There?" Waving his hand dismissively. "I said it"

Vanille turned her head around, pouting still she looked crossed. "But I'm _far _older the you are!"

"Chronically!" Sazh corrected her holding up a finger. Leaning closer Vanille argued back. "I was sleeping when you were born!"

Leaning closer as well. "I have a kid who is half as old as you are!"

Getting so close now her nose pressed to Sazh's. "I'm barely a teen anymore!"

Squinting his eyes he glared at her.

Squinting her eyes she glared at him.

They sat like that for a moment before both of their expressions started to soften up. Vanille started to smile and was just about to say something when Sazh interrupted her.

"You don't get any life experience from being awar-"

Vanille threw herself back in the grass, covering her face. "Ahh! This makes my fuzzy little head hurt!" kicking her legs in frustration.

Sazh chuckled heartily as he looked at her. The chocobo in his hair decided that enough was enough and left it's nest to go play with a large blond man that wasn't busy arguing about age.

"Aww Vanille" Sazh smiled at her as she finally tired herself out and lay still. Tilting his head with a smile. "Maybe we should call it even then?"

She looked at him, he continued. "Go far beyond and say "Age is just a number?"

Observing him she smiled. "No, I think we should both agree on _you _being the cradle robber here!"

Sazh nearly fell backwards. "What! You sai-"

Vanille chuckled evilly. "You didn't know I was five hundred!"

"I haven't lain a hand on you!" Attacking back. "You were five hundred before I was born! That is beyond cradle robbing!" He broke into a laugh as he said it, making Vanille laugh as well. She pushed herself up on her elbows and smiled. "I guess we can both be cradle robbers then!"

"You don't think "Age is just a number" sounds a tad bit better then?"

"So old fashion pops!" Falling back in the grass again, Sazh shacked his head and chuckled.

"You really are just a kid"

Just seeing her arms as she rose them in the air. "And that is perfectly _fine_!"


End file.
